Do it. You totally can.
Think about him. Close your eyes. Think about your creator.
Think about him the way you always do. The way you were taught. Imagine being
in his great and powerful presence. Feel his love and his arms wrapping around
you comforting you and welcoming you home.
Feel his eternal love and embrace. Feel the warmth and spirit flowing
through you until you know it is real because you feel it to your very soul.
Now imagine a large knife in your hand. Take that knife, and
as hard as you can, jam it into his fucking head as far as you can, all the
way. Feel that pop as the blade penetrates his skull. Watch the blood spit and
flow as arteries pump desperately, spewing thick, red spurts with unexpected
force. Twist the knife. Clockwise. Jerk it back as far as you can. Split his
skull wide open. Pull it out and look into his vacant eyes as brains begin to
slip out of and fall softly and gently to the floor with a soft plop. Lay him
on the ground and with the heel of your boot smash his head to a pulp, so all
that is left is long flowing white robes with a gross, red, blob of carnage
where his face used to be. Smear him all over the ground. Clean your boots off
on his robes, and your knife if you still remember it. Piss on his body if you
want. Walk away.
There, doesn’t that feel better?
Now do it again. Conjure your god again. The same way you
always do. Pray to him. Call on him. Feel his spirit. He will come back. Experience
him in all his glory exactly the way you always have. Make him a little
different if you want. Make his robes brown. Make him black. Make him a woman.
Make him an alien. Make him an elephant. Make him a fat Asian man. Make him a
cow. Make him a golden cow. Make him whatever you like, your own image, however
you prefer to see him and know him.
Now, wrap your hands around his neck and strangle that
sonofabitch until there is nothing left.
Catch your breath.
Do it again if you want.
Do it as many times as you need.
Do it as many times as you want. I’ll wait.
Done now?
Is he good and dead?
Are you satisfied? Kill him some more if you like.
When you are finished take a deep breath. Open your eyes. Look
around.
Anything different?
Walk outside. Call your friends. Pet the dog. Do the dishes.
Go to a movie.
No one cares.
There will be no consequences.
Nothing will change.
It doesn’t matter.
It never mattered.
